What to Do if Your Child Is Struggling Academically (Before Hiring a Tutor)

I’ve updated the article with a warmer, practical tone, removed unsupported anecdotes and strengthened the sections on school collaboration, SEND, health and wellbeing, home support and deciding whether tutoring is genuinely needed. The rewrite is based on your supplied draft.

When a child begins struggling at school, it can be hard for parents to know what to do first. You may notice falling marks, unfinished homework, growing frustration or comments such as, “I’m just bad at maths.”

The immediate temptation is often to find a tutor. Tutoring can be useful, but it is not always the best first step. Academic difficulty may be caused by a specific gap in knowledge, but it can also be connected to anxiety, poor sleep, bullying, attendance, SEND, confidence or a misunderstanding about what the school expects.

Before adding another lesson to your child’s week, take time to understand what is actually happening. A clearer picture will help you decide whether they need classroom support, a change in routine, specialist assessment, emotional help or targeted tuition.

Look for patterns, not one disappointing result

One low test score or difficult homework task does not necessarily mean that a child is falling behind. Everyone has topics they find harder, and performance can dip after illness, a school move or a stressful period.

Pay attention when difficulties become persistent or begin affecting how your child feels about learning.

Possible signs include:

• taking much longer than expected to complete ordinary work;
• avoiding reading, writing or a particular subject;
• becoming upset before tests or homework;
• saying they are stupid or incapable;
• frequently forgetting instructions;
• producing work that does not reflect their verbal understanding;
• losing interest in school;
• regular stomach aches or headaches before school;
• falling marks across several assessments;
• receiving repeated comments about incomplete work or lack of focus.

These signs should be explored rather than labelled as laziness. Avoidance often develops when a child expects to fail, feels embarrassed or does not know how to begin.

Keep a brief note of when the difficulty appears. Is it limited to one subject? Does it happen only with homework? Is it worse after poor sleep or on particular school days? Patterns can help the school understand what support may be needed.

Talk to your child without turning it into an interrogation

Choose a calm moment rather than beginning the conversation during an argument about homework.

Try open questions such as:

• Which part of school feels hardest at the moment?
• When did this subject start feeling more difficult?
• Is the work confusing, too fast or hard to organise?
• What happens when you ask for help?
• Is anything else making it difficult to concentrate?

Listen before proposing solutions. Your child may reveal that they missed an important explanation, cannot see the board clearly, are worried about reading aloud or feel distracted by a friendship problem.

Avoid responding with comparisons:

“Your sister never had this problem.”

Also avoid reassurance that dismisses the concern:

“You’re clever, so there’s nothing to worry about.”

A more useful response is:

“I can see this has become difficult. We’ll work out which part is causing the problem and ask the school what can help.”

Speak with the school early

Your child’s teacher should usually be the first professional contact. Teachers can compare recent work, observe classroom participation and explain whether the difficulty is new or part of a longer pattern.

Ask for a focused conversation rather than waiting automatically for the next parents’ evening.

Useful questions include:

• Which specific knowledge or skills are causing difficulty?
• Is my child working below expected levels, or has progress simply slowed?
• How do they participate during lessons?
• Are they completing independent work?
• Have you noticed changes in confidence, behaviour or concentration?
• What support has already been tried?
• How and when will progress be reviewed?

Ask to see examples where appropriate. “Struggling with writing” could mean spelling, handwriting, sentence structure, planning, vocabulary or understanding the question. Each issue requires a different response.

Agree one or two practical next steps rather than leaving the meeting with a vague promise to “keep an eye on it”.

For example:

• the teacher will check reading fluency;
• your child will attend a short maths intervention;
• home practice will focus on one identified skill;
• the situation will be reviewed after six weeks.

Check whether important learning has been missed

Academic difficulties sometimes begin with a small gap that later lessons assume has already been secured.

This is particularly common in subjects that build cumulatively, including:

• phonics and reading;
• spelling;
• number facts;
• fractions;
• algebra;
• grammar;
• languages;
• science concepts.

A child may understand the current explanation but still struggle because an earlier foundation is missing.

Possible reasons include:

• illness or absence;
• changing school;
• moving between different curriculum sequences;
• limited practice;
• a misconception that was never corrected;
• difficulty remembering previously taught material.

Ask the teacher to identify the smallest useful starting point. Trying to reteach an entire subject at home may overwhelm the child and duplicate work unnecessarily.

Short, focused practice on one gap is often more effective than buying a large workbook and attempting to complete it from the beginning.

Consider whether SEND may be affecting learning

Persistent difficulty can sometimes indicate a special educational need, although struggling academically does not automatically mean that a child has a diagnosis.

Possible areas to consider include:

• dyslexia or another literacy difficulty;
• dyscalculia or significant difficulty with number;
• speech, language and communication needs;
• ADHD or attention and executive-function difficulties;
• autism;
• developmental coordination difficulties;
• working-memory or processing-speed difficulties;
• hearing, vision or sensory needs.

Speak with the class teacher and SENCO if there is a consistent pattern, a large difference between oral and written performance, or limited progress despite appropriate teaching and support.

Schools should respond to identified needs and do not have to wait for a private diagnosis before providing suitable classroom support.

Ask:

• What assessments or observations have been completed?
• What adjustments are being used?
• Will my child receive SEN support?
• Which outcomes are being monitored?
• When will the support be reviewed?
• Is specialist advice needed?

Read The Ultimate Guide to SEN Support and EHCPs for Parents for a detailed explanation of school-based support.

If reading and spelling are the main concerns, The Ultimate Guide to Dyslexia in Schools: How to Help Pupils Thrive may also be useful.

Rule out health and physical barriers

A child cannot learn comfortably if they are struggling to see, hear, sleep or remain physically well.

Consider whether there have been changes involving:

• eyesight;
• hearing;
• headaches;
• sleep;
• nutrition;
• medication;
• chronic illness;
• pain or fatigue.

A child who appears inattentive may not hear instructions clearly. Someone avoiding reading may experience visual discomfort. Poor sleep can affect working memory, emotional regulation and concentration.

Speak with an appropriate health professional if symptoms persist. Do not rely on tutoring to compensate for an untreated health problem.

Look at wellbeing, friendships and school anxiety

Academic performance can fall when a child is emotionally preoccupied.

Possible causes include:

• bullying;
• friendship breakdown;
• bereavement;
• family change;
• anxiety;
• school avoidance;
• fear of a teacher or class;
• perfectionism;
• low self-esteem.

If the child’s difficulty appears across several subjects or began suddenly, ask what else changed around the same time.

A tutor may offer a calm relationship, but they cannot resolve bullying, unsafe behaviour or significant mental-health concerns alone.

Work with the school’s pastoral team and seek appropriate health support where needed.

If anxiety is affecting attendance or causing repeated physical symptoms before school, read School Anxiety and School Avoidance: A Parent’s Guide.

Review homework before adding more work

Homework can become the place where academic difficulty is most visible, but adding extra worksheets may make the situation worse.

First establish:

• how long the school expects the task to take;
• whether your child understands the instructions;
• whether the required knowledge was taught;
• how much help other pupils are likely to receive;
• whether the task can be adjusted;
• what your child should do when stuck.

If a 20-minute task regularly takes two hours, tell the teacher. The school needs to know that the work is not being completed independently within the expected time.

Parents should support without taking over. You can:

• help your child read the question;
• ask what they already know;
• encourage them to show one step;
• help organise materials;
• write a brief note explaining where they became stuck.

Avoid completing the work or giving every answer. This can hide the difficulty from the teacher and prevent your child from developing independence.

For more guidance, see Helping Your Child With Homework Without the Stress.

Create a manageable home routine

Home support works best when it is predictable and limited.

Choose a time when your child is not extremely hungry or tired. Keep the environment reasonably quiet and have basic materials ready.

Short sessions are often better than long ones. The appropriate length depends on age, attention and the task, but stop before the work becomes a prolonged battle.

A simple routine might be:

1. review the task;
2. choose one small goal;
3. work for a short period;
4. take a break;
5. check what was completed;
6. record any remaining difficulty.

Focus on consistency rather than intensity. Ten minutes of calm reading several times a week may be more helpful than an exhausting hour on Sunday evening.

Practise one specific skill at a time

“Catch up in maths” is too broad. A useful home target should be small enough to practise and recognise.

Examples include:

• reading common vowel patterns;
• recalling the six-times table;
• adding fractions with the same denominator;
• planning one paragraph;
• learning five subject-specific words;
• checking punctuation at the end of sentences.

Ask the teacher which skill would make the greatest difference.

Use examples that are easy enough for your child to experience success before increasing difficulty. Repeated failure is unlikely to rebuild confidence.

Real-life practice can help, particularly for younger children:

• reading instructions or recipes;
• estimating shopping totals;
• measuring ingredients;
• planning travel time;
• keeping scores during games;
• writing a short message or list.

The aim is not to turn every family activity into a lesson. It is to show that reading, writing and number have purposes beyond worksheets.

Use free resources selectively

Free resources can reinforce school learning, but too many platforms can create confusion.

Ask the teacher whether there is a particular programme or resource that matches the school’s method.

Useful sources may include:

• BBC Bitesize for explanations, practice and revision;
• Oak National Academy for curriculum resources and lessons;
• school-provided reading, phonics or maths programmes;
• library books and audiobooks;
• revision materials from the correct examination board.

Check that resources use the same terminology and method your child is learning at school. A different approach is not necessarily wrong, but introducing several methods at once may confuse a child who is already uncertain.

Online tools should support teaching rather than simply keep the child occupied. Notice whether your child is thinking through the work or clicking until an answer is accepted.

Build confidence without pretending everything is easy

Confidence grows through successful effort, not through being told repeatedly that a difficult task is simple.

Avoid saying:

“This is easy. You should know it.”

Try:

“This part is difficult at the moment. Let’s find the first step you can do.”

Praise should be specific:

• “You checked the question before beginning.”
• “You kept the numbers lined up carefully.”
• “You used the paragraph plan without being reminded.”
• “You noticed the mistake and corrected it.”

Specific feedback helps the child understand which strategy worked.

It is also useful to separate performance from identity. A low score means that some knowledge was not secure on that occasion. It does not mean that the child is “bad at maths” or “not academic”.

Read Building Resilience in Children: Everyday Strategies That Work for more ways to support confidence after setbacks.

Ask the school about intervention and progress reviews

Schools may provide support through:

• additional classroom teaching;
• small-group intervention;
• one-to-one reading practice;
• phonics catch-up;
• maths support;
• home-learning materials;
• pastoral or organisational support.

Ask what the intervention is designed to improve and how progress will be measured.

Useful questions include:

• How often will the support take place?
• Who will deliver it?
• Will my child miss another subject?
• What baseline information is being used?
• When will progress be reviewed?
• What happens if the intervention does not help?

A child should not remain in the same intervention indefinitely without anyone evaluating whether it is working.

Support also needs to connect with ordinary classroom teaching. A pupil may improve during a small-group session but still struggle to use the skill independently in class.

When a tutor may be worth considering

Tutoring may be useful when the difficulty is clearly identified and cannot be addressed fully through existing school and home support.

It may be appropriate when:

• your child has a specific and persistent knowledge gap;
• school support is limited or has not been sufficient;
• an examination or transition is approaching;
• your child needs specialist literacy or numeracy teaching;
• homework support is damaging family relationships;
• your child responds well to individual teaching;
• the purpose and timescale of tuition are clear.

A tutor is less likely to help when:

• the main problem is bullying or anxiety;
• your child is already exhausted;
• the difficulty has not been defined;
• the tutor would duplicate effective school intervention;
• the child needs a health or specialist assessment instead;
• tuition would replace rest, sleep or important activities.

Before hiring someone, agree a focused goal. For example:

“Develop confidence with fractions and identify the missing knowledge over eight sessions.”

This is more useful than arranging indefinite weekly tutoring to “improve maths”.

For detailed guidance, read When and When Not to Get a Tutor: Seven Signs Your Child Might Benefit.

Frequently asked questions

How do I know whether my child is genuinely behind?

Ask the teacher which knowledge or skills are below expected levels and what evidence supports that view. One low mark is less informative than a pattern across classwork, assessment and independent tasks.

Should I buy workbooks immediately?

Not necessarily. First identify the specific difficulty and ask which methods the school uses. A large general workbook may cover the wrong content or create unnecessary pressure.

What if the teacher says my child is fine but I remain concerned?

Share specific examples from home and ask how the relevant skill has been assessed. You can also speak with the SENCO where concerns are persistent or involve a possible special educational need.

Does struggling academically mean my child has SEND?

No. Difficulty may result from missed teaching, low confidence, health, attendance or other factors. Persistent needs should still be assessed and supported appropriately.

Can school support begin without a diagnosis?

Yes. Schools should respond to identified needs and can provide teaching adjustments or SEN support without waiting for a formal diagnosis.

How much home practice is appropriate?

It depends on age, need and the task. Short, regular and focused practice is usually preferable to lengthy sessions that lead to distress.

Should I correct every mistake?

No. Focus on the skill being practised. Correcting every spelling, handwriting and grammar issue at once may overwhelm the child and obscure the main learning goal.

What if homework always ends in tears?

Stop the immediate battle and tell the teacher. Check whether the work is too difficult, too long or unclear, and whether anxiety, fatigue or another need is involved.

Can tutoring harm confidence?

It can if the child sees it as punishment, is already overloaded or works with a tutor who focuses only on errors. Good tuition should be purposeful, supportive and regularly reviewed.

How long should we try school support before hiring a tutor?

There is no universal period. Agree a review date with the school based on the support being provided. The important issue is whether progress is being monitored and whether the current approach is helping.